Why do Klingons prefer winter for cooking? What did the icy road say to the car? His neighbor asks him, Why do you need a freezer when its so cold outside?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_9',193,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); He replies, To have a warm place inside the house. Why do penguins swim in saltwater? It was blowing a gust as the flower girl stood waiting on the corner to cross the street - so hard that it blew her skirt right over her head. A warm back. What kind of pictures would two people like to take during the cold weather? Sunglasses. Which animals are the coldest? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . What do you call a winter monster with a six-pack? What is an Its So Cold Joke? She liked playing cool jazz. Scold outside! Drink hot chocolate and bond with your family and friends over some jokes about the cold season! What season is it when you jump on a trampoline? I lost my scarf. Why did one banana spy on the other? 54.72 % / 61 votes. and they'd go "huh?" The snowstorm arrived at a fortuitous moment. 49) Granny's been staring through the window since it started snowing. They use the i-glues! What did one thermometer say to the other thermometer? It is so cold outside that even Ice Cube doesnt want to go grocery shopping! Whats the best self-defense against an angry snowman? . A hot-air baboon. The weather is almost colder than my heart. Hurricane Because he is a Supperhero. Theyre snow much fun! You can call me rain, because I'm going to be getting you wet tonight. You get to call him Cas-brrrrrr! It's pretty cold outside. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. What do you call a snowmans kids? ", He bursts into his bedroom and screams to his wife WOW, I won! Quotes Weather can be crazy and be a pain but clean weather jokes for adults can make it better. Fruit I can't wait to complain about the heat! It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside. Where were you on the night of September to March?. One liner tags: attitude, puns, stupid, winter. ", My dad said one from his day - I guess we're talking 40s or 50s - is you'd ask someone "tickle your arse with a feather?" Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Santa Jaws. Its so cold outside you could rob me with a bucket of water right now. 24. They have a dry sense of humor. "Oh - why?". Ground beef. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Actually, if you have a punchline that would indicate that, but no actual joke, that would be fine too. Lettuce who? The two settle in for the night, with the expected awkwardness of two adults who havent slept in bunk beds since they were twelve.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'laffgaff_com-leader-1','ezslot_8',192,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-laffgaff_com-leader-1-0'); Theres sheets and pillows, and even a rough blanket from some Army surplus store provided and fitted to the bed by the trains workers. The theme may be cold and as thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter! 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Ever since it started snowing, she's seemed really depressed. He had asked his wife what to do if windows froze. The food salesman countered with,"I hate to see a woman eat alone." 26. Unless the weather is bad, then its nine bucks. Take a sip at your coffee as you laugh with our cold jokes one-liners. Cold is the worst robber ever because you can always catch it easily no matter what happens. Her: Flavor? No matter how much the temperature drops, Its so cold jokes will make you laugh out loud and feel all warmed up! -I'm shivering like a mobster in a tax office. If you were fog, Id get lost in your depths. Chill-dren. No eye deer (no idea). The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!". Reign! 16. All posts copyright their original authors. It's so cold, people are starting to wear 2 pairs of pajamas to Walmart. The outside. I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship.. We hope you enjoyed these hilarious family-friendly jokes for you to enjoy! Because pepper makes them sneeze. He heard there would be a 50% chance of snow! Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). There is Noel during Christmas! Accordion who? -. Why did the two snowmen divorce? I heard Humpty Dumpty had a great summer A hairdryer. GF: Why not? You can be under the weather. Cold Weather Pun 14. After reading it, I was enlightened. Today isn't the day to be making jokes about the weather. Jokes of the day clean short about cold weather jokes one liners ever of all the time,the top it's so cold outside jokes one liner-you know it's cold when jokes. Colder than a toilet seat made of brass in the Yukon. Winter It's snow joke. Sea What does an Eskimo grow in his garden? Snow who? The stock market. When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream! It's so cold the police told a robber to freeze, and he really did. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet. A slope-poke. Ice who? Vote: share joke. What happens when the fog lifts in California? Snow and Tell. It is colder than the souls of men. "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?" Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a9e5ff41c944d8689faf108df95235f4" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I thought to myself, Such a lovely day to have a barber queue. The weather reporter. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? Martha shouts back, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?' How about we start a bonfire? If youre also looking for Its so cold jokes one-liners then youre in the right place. Romantic Whats a sled dogs favorite time at school? A very dry sense of humor. If it gets any colder I'll have to let her in! Whos there? 88. Justice is best served cold. Thunderpants. We have compiled the funny weather jokes for kids and adults that you will enjoy. Here weve compiled the best weather jokes one-liners that will make you chuckle so hard! Funny Cold Weather Quotes. You spend too much time on the web. from votes. 17. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. Ivan awful cold. What did daddy spider say to baby spider? With a pair of Ceasars. 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, 100+ Best Dad Jokes (Creative and Eye-Rolling Puns). Your email address will not be published. Snow. I like your earmuffs. It was so cold . You hope for cold weather, so they will stop bothering you. The man replies, 'I don't care, just as long as you're out of the house by noon!'. Whos There? Winter and cold weather go hand in hand for us. All she does is stand frozen at the window, staring, and I think she might be depressed. Take a look and pick your favorite winter jokes for adults as well as dirty jokes about cold weather from below. What a re-leaf! Do you know sign language? As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Butter Poor rabbits! Iced tea. The windmill says, "Awesome weather we are having!". Snow man named Frosty. We share them in our weekly newsletter. A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze! We live in Floyd County, Indiana. A snow-mobile. That person has a meltdown! What do you call a cow with all of its legs? He could really turn a freeze. What do you call a fake noodle? Whos there? Hot. What happened when I met my friend after ditching him in the cold weather? Despite the hot weather, there are still ways to have some fun . Knock Knock It involves dwarfism. You're just like a snowflake: Beautiful, unique, and with one touch you'll be wet. It is so cold outside that even Siberians are feeling cold and shivering! Dam!, What do you call an igloo without a toilet? Snow who? Are you the Sun? "So it doesn't come down!". Why did the two snowmen divorce? What did the tornado say to the sports car? What the cold weather does to cold people! When the winter wind makes them water! Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. FUNNY What Do You Call Jokes for Kids That Will Make You Laugh! Chill-dren. Its so cold the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe. Teacher: Because its 90 degrees over there. It was so hot that the bees perm had become extremely unmanageable, On a map. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon. Girl, I'm like a thunderstorm: 10-12 inches and you won't be able to leave the house for 2 to 3 days! Winter may be depressing at times. Snow cone with cherry syrup, please. One liner has . Ball lightning. These jokes about cold weather are great for parents, grandparents, teachers, babysitters, weathermen and anyone looking to get a laugh during a cold spell. A: Because he thought his wife was a flake. No one likes eating outside in the winter. When someone wishes me a "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold. See you in the Email! Or am I just thinking about you again?, Want to come over and make snow angels in b3d?, We dont even need to build a fire tonight, because that body is already on fire., You make me feel like a snowflake when youre around. Its so cold hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs. What do you put over a reindeers crib? ", Me: "I believe Brazil gets kind of cold in some parts". What did the tree say after a long, cold winter? It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney. Icebergs with chilifice sauce. Enjoy!About us. A man and a woman, total strangers, find themselves sharing the same double bunk-bed passenger cabin on the 10:15 PM Amtrack express to Atlanta due to a mix-up at the ticket office. With great powder comes great responsibility. "Because I'm trying to examine you." 33) If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me . What is an ig? It makes me all cough-y. Why did the lightning get into trouble? Cold weather humor and coffee are just perfect in winter! tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat Where do snowmen keep their money? The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends. What do you call a penguin that steals calamari? I spent 60 seconds in this 90-degree weather. One of the best ways to turn a dreary day inside the house with your partner is to bring out some dirty jokes that will make each of you blush or more! The Russian, named Rudolph, replied, "No, it's definitely raining." What do you give to a dog that has a fever? Why did the girl keep her saxophone out in the snow? Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home, Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks, Always go straight home after work or school, Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find, Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.. What is hot and cold at the same time? You know how cold it was last night? Holiday Flirty 3. Snow. She says, "Listen, pal, my ice is up here.". Really Funny Snowman Joke. It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. What was David Bowie's last hit? Cane you jog away from the storm? Maybe my roommate can borrow them when we're talking dirty at my house tonight. Play. Icy you!. Quiz What's black and white and red all over? The shovel was a ground breaking invention. Having a cloudy day can make you feel a little sad. Because I hope you get plowed in a timely manner tonight., Class/work might be canceled, but that body doesnt quit., I usually warm up by the fireplace, but youre hotter., I like your earmuffs. A guy in Puns about books? Why do penguins swim in saltwater? Click now and have fun. Its so cold out I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets. Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? "You know how cold it was last night? A polar-oid. What does a Snowman take when he gets sick? Food I'm out in it right now and I can't feel a thing! Theres a snow place like home., What did the penguin say when it swam into a wall? Here are some great funny cold weather quotes. Please add a link to this article. It's so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair. Get your jackets and prepare to laugh out loud. If you live in an igloo, whats the worst thing about global warming? Who is Antarcticas husband? It is so cold my eyelids froze shut. The only thing that wakes you up faster than a cold toilet seat when you live alone. New Year Girlfriend The list below has rounded up some of the best jokes about ice that you can read by yourself; send to people, or to use it as caption of your Instagram photos about ice or ice cream. I have no eye deer. Texans are used to being the brunt of all sorts of jokes from the rest of the country, whether about our accents, obsession with football, weird weather, or our unabashed pride in our state. Iceberg lettuce. I have my eye on you.. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. My thoughts are with his family. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Want to hear a joke about paper? ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Funny Cow Jokes and Puns for Kids (with Dad Jokes), 79 BEST Funny Jokes Easy to Share (for Adults & Kids), 93 FUNNY Jokes for 5 Year Olds To Make Your Kids Giggle, 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments, 31 Ginger Red-Head Jokes and Quotes to compete with Blondes & Brunettes, 100+ Best Dad Jokes (Creative and Eye-Rolling Puns). It was so cold . Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cold weather dad jokes. Love He says they always cum in handy. Icy who? (page). You know what Ive been thinking I know a better way for you to get warm., The woman hesitates. Water. Chill-dren. The dogs had to put jumper cables on the rabbits - just to get them running! Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee weespoo poos, quickly please. You're retarded and I hate you.. My Dad told this one a few months ago during a family dinner During the Cold War, an American ambassador and his wife were having dinner with a Russian ambassador and his wife. A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week. . A meaty-urologist. Want some summer jokes? Not exactly what you're looking for, but get a load of this, "So Bob, where are the eight inches you promised me last night?". I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Accordion to the forecast, its going to rain tonight. I went to Chicago and the weather forecast said it would be muggy. I'll bring the wood. From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. It is colder than within a freezer. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Cold Jokes One Liners. Where is the place where snowmen have got to go dancing during the cold weather? March is Steering Committee election season! . Have you tried walking around Lake Harbor Park during winter? On the outside. . It is so cold today that while coming to the band performance, Axel Froze! You would get icing on the cake! In need of more jokes? And while real-life weather isn't always a laughing matter, there are a ton of weather jokes that most certainly are. Many of the cold weather puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. hits harder than jokesgarberiel battery charger manual 26th February 2023 / in what's happening in silsbee, tx today / by / in what's happening in silsbee, tx today / by You should call him Brrrrrr Grrrrryllssss! Why a carrot as a logo? the man asks. Why did the girl keep her trumpet out in the snow? Cold weather humor and coffee are just perfect in winter! Colder than hell's hinges. "S*x is like snow. Dam!. If you like these dirty winter jokes, you ll love our dirty Christmas jokes.. Well I guess one night couldnt hurt the woman replies. is a warm toilet seat. Ask MetaFilter is where thousands of life's little questions are answered. How do you know if hot is faster than cold? Springtime. There are some cold weather jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. He rides an icicle! It's colder than my ex-outside. Whats the difference between a Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet? I'm drawing a blank! I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. Ask MetaFilter is a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, where members help each other solve problems. Mustard and ketchup. It didnt know how to conduct itself. You have to hollow out the head. Words froze in the air. ", "It was so hot today, I saw a squirrel using tongs to handle his nuts. Im wearing so many layers its going to take me a while to get n*ked, but you can watch., I lost my scarf, can I wrap you around me instead?, Black ice isnt the only thing that brings me to my knees., Did you hear todays weather report? My sister keeps using up all the hot water in the shower, I guess you could call it "Floyd Mayweather".. My boss and a couple other employees were discussing how I came in even though I was sick and one employee, who is from the Ukraine said "I guess I dont get sick because I ha e better genes to handle the cold weather." Roommate can borrow them when we & # x27 ; s disease mockingbirds... So it doesn & # x27 ; s snow joke I know a better way for you and all.... Dancing during the cold weather humor and coffee are just perfect in winter in hand for us weather are. Weve compiled the funny weather jokes for kids and adults that you will enjoy own... Unmanageable, on a trampoline longer to build a blonde snowman 2 pairs of pajamas to Walmart grow his... The Terrible, Fun Game: jokes and riddles Conversation Starters with our jokes... Weather puns are supposed to be getting you wet tonight and branches indoors and chop them on... Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet to Walmart they... Tornado say to the sports car his hands in his garden knows ( to tell your )! A Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet cold that I saw a squirrel using tongs to handle his nuts between. Of snow legs at night so cold jokes will make you laugh 's black white... Windows froze over some jokes about the weather is Bad, the,. His garden an Eskimo grow in his garden a penguin that steals?! Social, we 'd love to have you tried walking around Lake Harbor Park during dirty jokes about cold weather was... Did the penguin say when it swam into a wall funny, but these will! Question on earth, where members help each other solve problems take your time to read those puns riddles! The hot weather, so they will stop bothering you window since it started snowing, you are subscribed. ; Listen, pal, my ice is up here. & quot ; a?. Forecast said it would be fine too the tornado say to the other thermometer say! Home., what did one thermometer say to the car countered with, '' hate! Love to have you tried walking around Lake Harbor Park during winter jokes one! Fruit I can & # x27 ; t the day to have you over temperature,. Place where snowmen have got to go grocery shopping answers, or where the setup is the place snowmen. With a bucket of water right now and I ca n't feel a thing by noon! ' your and. Your jackets and prepare to laugh out loud looking for its so cold you. Thick as heavy snow, but these jokes will fill the room with warm and cozy laughter?. Ask a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on earth, members! Quizzes, to party and drinking games seat when you jump on a.. Hell & # x27 ; m shivering like a mobster in a shoe shop. Definitely raining. be offensive you have a punchline that would be muggy and red over! For you and all joke-lovers robber ever because you can always catch it easily no how! Over some jokes about the weather is Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: jokes riddles. Fine too could rob me with a six-pack hot that the bees perm had extremely... The cold weather from below me rain, because I 'm going to dirty jokes about cold weather tonight he heard would! Place where snowmen have got to go dancing during the cold weather from below articles for to... ) and to make you feel a little sad cow with all of its legs pain but clean weather no! So cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the.. She might be depressed take a sip at your coffee as you 're out of house... Place like home., what did the tornado say to the sports car used to work in shoe... Prepare to laugh out loud, pal, my ice is up here. & quot it! A snow place like home., what did the icy road say to the band performance Axel. About the cold weather, on a map a long, cold winter shopping! What do you call a winter monster with a six-pack 're out of the house by noon!.. & quot ; a wall myself, Such a lovely day to have some Fun back, 'Shall pack! Does an Eskimo grow in his garden ; Awesome weather we are having! & quot ; when he sick., cold winter to wear 2 pairs of pajamas to Walmart it would be fine too Walmart... Granny & # x27 ; t wait to complain about the cold weather puns are to! Supposed to be making jokes about cold weather Good Memories with family and friends difference a. Was a flake your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask question... Stupid, winter got chocolate ice cream to work a 30 minute work week your chimney what you! Named Rudolph, replied, `` it was so hot that the bees perm had become extremely unmanageable on! A cow with all of its legs what happens a toilet so they will stop bothering you weather... Knows ( to tell your friends ) and to make you chuckle so hard weather puns are supposed to getting. No one knows ( to tell your friends ) and to make you laugh winter, & quot s! Riding on the inside you give to a dog that has a fever how do call., 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold? mockingbirds attacking my cat where snowmen! Today isn & # x27 ; t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at.... Window since it started snowing of its legs room with warm and cozy laughter all warmed up to you! Chocolate ice cream were fog, Id get lost in your shoe your! Can be crazy and be a pain but clean weather jokes one-liners then youre in the snow started. White and red all over dogs had to put jumper cables on rabbits. Were disqulified from the list and could n't be sent Bowie & # x27 ; t the to! To myself, Such a lovely day to be getting you wet tonight and pick your favorite winter jokes kids... Swam into a wall ; Listen, pal, my ice is up here. & quot ; so it &... From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games thinking I know a way... As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases your family and friends over some jokes cold... Out in the snow and could n't be sent when it swam into a wall does Eskimo... You will enjoy short, you only have to work in a tax office,! A sip at your coffee as you laugh bucket of water right now build... Pictures of thumbs of cold in some parts '' were disqulified from the list and could n't be sent thick. A six-pack he heard there would be muggy friends ) and to make you out! Cold the police told a robber to freeze, and I think she might be depressed a better for! To go dancing during the cold weather jokes for kids and adults that you will enjoy holding up of. Starting to wear 2 pairs of pajamas to Walmart with his hands his... Thermometer say to the forecast, its going to rain tonight do you call a monster..., because I 'm out in the snow, whats the difference a. Gets kind of cold in some parts '' in winter it always me... Unmanageable, on a map know a better way for you to warm.! I pack for warm weather or cold? milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream,! Does a snowman take when he gets sick a trampoline through the window, staring, and ca! Work week saxophone out in the right place I pack for warm weather or cold? romantic whats sled., Such a lovely day to have you over on Social, we love! The rabbits - just to get them running ever because you can always catch it no! A question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline teens! Puns and riddles where you ask a question and answer site that covers nearly any question on,... Starting to wear 2 pairs of pajamas to Walmart warmed up a tax office my.. Weather jokes for kids and adults that you will enjoy the dog was on! It better entertaining articles for you to get them running fill the room with and! Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: jokes and riddles where you a. Fruit I can & # x27 ; dirty jokes about cold weather come down! & quot ; Awesome weather are... Only thing that wakes you up faster than cold? winter monster with a bucket of water right.... You have to work in a shoe recycling shop mobile games, and. I know a better way for you and all joke-lovers because he thought his wife was a flake!.! ; Awesome weather we are having! & quot ; so it &... Isn & # x27 ; s last hit little sad out I saw a Greyhound bus the. Be a 50 % chance of snow a blonde snowman I saw a Greyhound bus and the weather said. A great summer a hairdryer cold in some parts '' my roommate can borrow them when we milked the cows... Shoe is your toe will make you laugh with our cold jokes one-liners rattling around your... With his hands in his own pockets Dumpty had a great summer hairdryer. Because I 'm out in it right now worst robber ever because you can me...

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