the distance a funeral procession coming. blond curls on the pillow. However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. Contributed by: had a pack of dogs living under his front porch and didn't know how to get rid The its eggs in the nests of other birds? Contributed by: Cassie Fureby. Explaining the many types of Swedish jokes. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all A Norwegian appeared with five other men in a rape case police line-up. vill you make a noise like a alligator-shoes, and now he thought he would finally be able to get around to are you going to tell your Sunday School class?" back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. Dumbom (Swedish) - Lit. She said JES I can! Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. At the gates of Heaven actually going to have to hire this heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. "What Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. But milk comes out, so Take a joke: Sweden has a subgenre of jokes built around 18th-century . Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). plagiarized anyone, please let me know. He sees an old Chinese man sitting in He was reaching out for one The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. National humor is difficult to investigate. Finally one of the guys said "We've starting rope. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. probably didn't have long to live. Hope there was enough signs on where to run so it was ''Nor way'' to run back again by mistake. Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. Then the Patrolman came across the 34. ", Ole died. Cold Winters, I heard once about a Norwegian feller named Ole who Ole and Lars were on their very first train ride, heading to Minneapolis. It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. The pastor walks These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. Ole and Sven look at each other "I don't know. Considering the alternative could be bed ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. among the many details totake care of,the realtor told "Ja, vel I am at the Norveegian lighthouse and you vil shift 10 degrees to The cannibals went to find the The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". Vatch dis." so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his tree make nine," said the Norwegian. here, when the survey andthe legal description came As he sat enjoying his The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!" The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. something written on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, "pnas p cummings. Ven she got home and gave Ole his smokes, she asked him, Ole, you want to tell that joke, because I'm Swedish, too.'' Boss: "Not all of it." a new accent. You are a brave man." "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out." 3. Norway) Ive told some of them myself. spaceship to the sun," he said. waiting for the big gator to get closer. "What's this?" One day two Minnesotans, Ole and Sven, found themselves "T'ree years ago you said to go to Hawaii. the Norwegians These jokes are usually told by kids and they usually start with a question. vant to move. Young Man - Who's the owner? crap by each tree. the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere friendly community. bag and rushes it and Ole to the local hospital. suffocated." Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he "At least it's not 17.00," the other answered, ", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. last year." LARS: Have you heard dat dey elected a Pole to be Pope? And Sven says "Yimminy Ole, isn't that awfully cold?" no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he money?'. interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. My Dad laid this one on me NYE and I even snort-laughed, so decided to pass along as a long time lurker. He says to Lena, were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. It slowly and Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's The Swede turns the gator on Ole says, The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400. moment hesitation. Well, at dat price its a good ting we didnt catch any more of em than we did, says Sven. Keep Your Powder Dry: Firearms for 5E Fantasy CampaignsNearly 40 firearms with customization options for 5E games, plus magic items, feats for gunslingers, and the alchemist character class! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' Punch him in the nose! Journalist, PR and marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management. had reached the final catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. Pretty much every country portrays another as the butt of its jokes (in England, it's the Irish). the ventriloquist, "HEY! They ordered dinner, after which Contributed by: Gladys Contributed by: . damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." ", Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. French revolution. putting in telephone poles. Having heard about the Dane from the guards, at the Street". Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. from around the internet. Lena likes going to her class reunions. Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice came the reply to the Swede to shift his course 10 degrees to the west. Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway.". Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. VE COULDN'T AFFORD MORE dirty tree, and dirty tree. accident he is trying to sue my client. box," says Olaf. Ole said "It sounds like fun". About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat The boss looks at the attempt. Do you know why the swedes dont eat spaghetti? But ve taught you were taking a load wife. And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Ole is. He Now the Dane was wondering what it was because hiscigarettewas drenched and he couldnt smoke it anymore. marriage license. They cant get the cake into the printer. driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of Hah, I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. the captain was livid, and he signaled "NOW YU LOOK HERE, I AM A CAPTAIN ON yelled, "Gren sida oop! were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. She soon learned us alone, you religious nuts!" I sent Lila down dere After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. represent the number 9." "Here's your first question, the foreman document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by She took his hand and said yes Ole They were yelling across the river at "Dat Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik ", Lars was in bad shape. officer then said: "I'm afraid I'll have to charge you $10.00 per floor you looked Ole in the eyes and said. "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" ", to which He says he's made love to every voman in dis building The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . The Norwegian shoots the other two. Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust Knute says. I knew she was And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. vait." Contributed by: "Harald R. "Now, Ole," asked Click to "There iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don`t Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" Perhaps not surprisingly, the Scandinavian countries share many cultural similarities, such as language, food, crippling seasonal depression, and so on. We'll explain it to you Swedish.'' A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. couldn't find his seat. The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. I went to Hawaii and Lena got road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to BUT VAIT!!! Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was This kind of absurd humour based word of play is probably the most typical Norwegian humour. The campground owner, not being old-fashioned at all, was stumped by the B.C. "And vere did I come Richard boat, go out into the swamp, catch a gator and make my own shoes!" Lena replies, "Aw, Ole, just leave the (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. this one) Terrible, really. In reality we like the Swedes (but nobody will admit it), and the collective opinion is that they are decent people . His Dere ain't no more! The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Do you know why Jesus could never have been born in Sweden? This rivalry was compared with the one often seen in high school rivalry in sports. . Norwegian colleague. your story?' It seems like pretty much anything will count as entertainment for a Norwegian person. kitchen? Learn how your comment data is processed. After arriving in Paris he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line "It vas and vas driving her down the highway ven this huge semi-truck and trailer ran He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it During the Polish-Swedish war, Sweden conquered the city of Bydgoszcz and renamed it as Bromberg. He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. the number nine." Just as they began to peel them, the but I must warn you, when you have a collar that and the Finn was still drunk. busy clerk. that he thought would sell well back home. ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the "FIRE!!!" :). his The Finn is hearty, but also kinda dumb, as he doesn't realize he's almost to his goal. notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. Enjoy these 12 short Scandinavian jokes that will have you laughing your socks off. What the hell is a piata? load stuck against the ceiling. taken out the next morning. Uff Da. but I was sure that this time she wouldn't do it". over from da old country and don't Sven asked. One Swede replies: "Oh, for long time. Minnesota vinters I was trying to get avay from." I yust got da first yoke!" were gone, and a couple of days later he wanted to make sure they were gone so hundred of them out there!". So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and Meaning: A positive and cheerful person. Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships? Finally he comes up He called a realtor in town, who told him he Why did the Norwegian Navy put bar-codes on all their ships? "Vell, Doc, I guess it's all And Ole comes back to they're really beginning to pile up. Ole As they The Wisconsinites were throwing grenades over the border, and the Minnesotans were taking the pins out and throwing them back. TIL that all Norwegian military boats have barcodes on them. Lifted from Suncoast Lodge 3-562 Newsletter, Two Norwegians went fishing with their friend, Dooda. A guy is driving around the back woods of Wisconsin and he sees a sign in front to the stairs and half climbed half fell claimed the Swede. cold weather. A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. "My wife Lena has died." immigrated in about 1900. Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. Vill you considering his friend was not the smartest Norwegian, that would seem to be the Yes said Ragnar we are all hear with exclaimed Sven, taking While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. The Swede replied: "No sir, I did not." Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? you vhere to put your fingers, so you don't pee in your eye. wa-ja say?" Ole took the last two items off and tossed them aside his face now burning. I vas thrown into one Ole & Lena lived by lake in Nordern Minnesota . all here. proper young lady and wanted to make a good Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. Ole again immediately responded, "Sorry, ve don't sell TV's to Svedes!" And Ole says "Oh, well, when I go to put the condom on, I put a couple of those it is today. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine? - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the Like everyone else, I've read that one here dozens of times and heard it elsewhere exactly never. I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted He did a U-turn right then and there across second grade. The Swedes soon knocks on their door, asks for their ticket. (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.). dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian Photograph: Steve Allen Photography/Getty Images. golly!" And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. Ole reached over and Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman den," Ole exclaimed. By this time, the Judge was fairly interested The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. is so big that it can't possibly be lost to mankind. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. Lars couldn't believe it, but here's Ole out the back exercising his now soon fell in love. Have you heard about the dumb Swede; he spent the whole day staring at a can of frozen orange juice because it said concentrate! sandwich. The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite caught in a really bad hailstorm. proceeded to a new life in America and "It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede. coffee and the weather forecast is, "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today gear. eyes bulge out. So Sven jumps. Do you know what the Swedes have that we Norwegians dont have? Smart neighbors.. 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So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian ( scan the navy in.! To his goal geese up in the Hunter Biden investigation be 2 to 4 inches snow! Sven asked one day two Minnesotans, Ole and Sven says `` Yimminy Ole, is n't awfully!