Now I'm wondering if my gagging response to gay porn is genuine or I've trained myself to do it. Parker: Their Differences, What Is The Difference Between M.A. I started as a therapist over 14 years ago, working in different mental health environments. Thus, experiments are not needed, you get a feeling on your own. ROCD - Questioning faith or the existance or non-existance of a deity. I've read this & it's a great thing you do to share your story to help others. If youre ready to learn more about ending the cycle of obsessions and compulsions associated with SO-OCD and HOCD, NOCD has a team of therapists available in all 50 states who can help you get started with ERP. Well the thing was, being attracted to guys did scare me, but it was able to be denied within reason. In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. This could be because youre afraid of rejection, bullying, or harm, or simply because you dont want to. Even if they are straight and do not desire to be attracted to the same sex, people with HOCD may have obsessive thoughts about being gay or about being attracted to the same sex. Regardless of age, OCD makes living with joy a challenge, which makes Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy so crucial in OCD care. Interruptive thoughts exacerbate the anxiety. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. Hope this article was of help to you! Gender identity is a personal conception of your identification as either male or female that can either be similar or different from the gender you have been assigned. There is a clear different from denial and HOCD. OCD is a mental health condition that can cause a person to have intrusive and reoccurring thoughts and images, as well as feel compelled to repeat specific behaviors. I have experience working at intensive in-home services for children & families, and intensive outpatient programs, preparing me for any challenge you may be facing. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for HOCD and can help you learn to manage your anxiety and live a full life. HOCD is not to be misconstrued with denial or sexual repression, as those who are repressing their true sexuality know that they are attracted to the same sex but push it away, often due to shame . HOCD Or Denial? Many people suffer from this condition, and there are ways to cope with it. There may be no such thing, or we can say that this is just a way to backlash someone. Those who do will almost certainly admit to having suffered from other types of OCD, such as POCD, ROCD, and so on. Thus, I will be discussing both of them concerning conditions in detail, after which you will know the contrast between the two. Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. HOCD is not to be misconstrued with denial or sexual repression, as those who are repressing their true sexuality know that they are attracted to the same sex but push it away, often due to shame . ERP gets right to the problem, and once you've learned how to manage OCD, the joy of life can fully return. In your heart of hearts, at your very core, if your comfortable with and know you are , straight, then your straight. Do you have unwanted thoughts about your sexuality? According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. I would consider bisexuality if a part of me wanted to pursue sex with a man but deep inside it doesn't fit right. They arent afraid to be gay. Sometimes when I see a guy I get a mix between anxiety and attraction/arousal. and our Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. Take intrusive thoughts less personally, and let go of your emotional reaction to them. The main difference is that you have not come to terms with it yourself. Hi everyone. They may also try to compulsively engage in activities that counter the obsessions, such as straight men who overcompensate by watching hetero porn or avoiding all contact with members of the same sex. 2023 Karstenkoehn. The idea of me being gay will eventually get boring. Could this be ROCD? Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. My feelings are up and down on this. Instantly I had a crush on her. Starting a month ago I suddenly had this fear of turning gay or that I am gay and just never did truly know. Whatever subtype you're experiencing, I can help. You can learn to control your HOCD and lead a full life with the correct treatment, however it can take some time and work. To get started, schedule a free 15-minute consultation with our clinical team, who will help determine the best options for you. If you think you might be at risk for HOCD and denial, its important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about your concerns. The more you agree with them the more you kill the obsessive part of it. I dont want comments telling me to accept this cause thats what I DONT want. It was really sweet of you to even read my post. Learn how to work with your thoughts and images. On the other hand, boys had no feelings for girls and were crazy for other boys until they had that one thought of being gay. Its perfectly normal and healthy to have doubts about your sexuality. Obsessions are unwanted and intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges and doubts, while compulsions are repetitive physical or mental actions performed in an attempt to relieve distress and anxiety. What is the distinction between homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) and denial or being in the closet? By definition, if you have homosexual OCD, you are not gay. For those who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorders like HOCD, it can be especially beneficial. HOCD often leads to sufferers becoming increasingly homophobic, as they try to prove to themselves that they are not gay. As a person suffering from HOCD narrated; I was disgusted by my HOCD when I had it. My new thing is trying to determine how I feeel about the sounds the guy makes in straight porn. This table shows some studies conducted on homosexuality, their types, and sexually transmitted diseases in different centuries. I want to bump this back up to the first page. While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. Cookie Notice Sexual orientation is not an uncommon theme for obsessive thoughts. Hiding and revealing behaviors are psychologically complex. Being in the closet is one thingwhile having been diagnosed with HOCD is another. HOCD has affected gay people as well. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. During sessions, I use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy because its the most effective treatment for OCD, and works for any OCD subtype. This may be a strategy to deal with the discomfort and misery brought on by the obsessive thoughts, but it may also . (Explained), What Is The Difference Between Judo And Wrestling? By self-assessment and monitoring, you can easily identify whether it is OCD or false thoughts are triggered by HOCD. Most people have some level of intrusive thoughts, obsessions and even compulsions in their lives. The fact that straights are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and gays are uncomfortable with opposite-sexthoughts should demonstrate that fear exists in all forms. But how do I know if I actually have HOCD or am simply in denial? To be clear, the therapists mentioned on this page are not necessarily an LGBTQIA+ individual themselves. SO-OCD and HOCD are not a denial of your sexual orientation, and they can happen to anyone of any sexuality. The pain and betrayal you feel are overwhelming. I've started checking out guys on the street to see how I feel. This is a heterosexual persons fear that they will become gay. Many dudes experience it. Just stay connected till the end. There are a few key similarities between HOCD and denial. Thank you so much for your reply. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. From your paragraph, I understand that you identify as a female with a desire to have a boyfriend. And if you discover you have feelings for women, thats fantastic as well. Your concerns about being gay may be causing you to focus on gay sex. Morons, . This is called the state of denial or being in the closet. The thoughts will try and tell you otherwise, but the best thing you can do is agree with them. Homosexuality is the term used to describe sexual interest in and attraction to members of ones own sex; male homosexuals referred to as gay while females going by the term lesbians. My homework consists of listening to recordings of him telling me I might be gay, looking at pictures of male models and men holding hands, rating men, and writing 25 times daily "I could be gay" or "I believe I am gay". Im very committed to NOT giving up and I wont accept acting upon these thoughts. The same is true the other way if someone has only been interested in partners of the opposite sex and they obsess about the same sex. Thus, experiments are not needed, you get a feeling on your own. Reviewing your day or week to feel sure that at no time did you feel attracted to someone of your own sex. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. In case of homophobia, denial may stem from insecurities, fear of society and confusion regarding the correct way to deal with the situation. They say that: Technically, no gay would be uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts, and that is because straight people like them arent uncomfortable with opposite-sex attraction. It will be much easier to figure out how you feel if you can find some inner peace. Am I refusing to face the facts? (HOCD, Homosexual OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD). Gays are hiding because they are afraid of being rejected. It will still be decades before the general public is comfortable with the entire situation, and even longer before homosexuality is treated as just another gender, equal to being straight. HOCD is a form of OCD. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. Ive been a licensed therapist since 2017. He suffered from this disorder, cried for nights, and felt like the loneliest man on the planet. Out of all the approaches to OCD treatment that I've used, I find Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy to be the most effective. Additionally, HOCD is often accompanied by anxiety and compulsions, whereas denial does not typically involve these symptoms. Denial in terms of homosexuality refers to the individual refusing to admit the truth about their sexual orientation and reacting in an unnatural manner to the feeling. Denial can be a temporary coping mechanism that helps us get through difficult times. Difference between DNA Transcription and DNA replication, self-doubt of an individual regarding their sexual preference and identify, avoiding contact with people that have previously identified themselves as gay/lesbians/bisexual, unwanted sexual thoughts about people of the same sex, excessive fear of being identified as homosexual, Fully aware of the condition but denying about it, Trying to minimise the effects of the situation instead of accepting it, Blaming others/ external elements for the situation, Refusing to talk about your homosexuality, Ignoring the concerns and advice of family and loved ones, When confronted about your orientation, denying outright about lt, Projecting it as a problem and blaming others for it, www.choosingtherapy.com/hocd/#causes-triggers-of-sexual-orientation-ocd, www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html, www.apcbham.org/2019/10/01/denial-why-it-happens-and-how-to-overcome-it/, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/internalized-homophobia. Anna Freud has referred to denial as a defense mechanism involving the refusal to accept reality and thus blocking external events from awareness. Only ten minutes after I had started reading the most recent posts, however, I realized that something was wrong: The folks with gay fears were clearly not gay. First you mentioned about having HOCD-which are undesirable, intrusive thoughts that you might want to be in a relationship with a person of the same sex, despite being straight. Unlessyourebisexual,youwontfeel any sexualorromanticattractiontotheoppositesexifyouretrulyhomosexual. Here are some tips: There are a lot of similarities between HOCD and denial, which can make it difficult to tell the two apart. Doubt is the opposite of certainty. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. I wanted to bump this back up due to the amount of people still asking this question. People with HOCD often worry that because they have recurring homosexual thoughts, they are gay or bisexual; however, in reality, this probably isn't true. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Social acceptance is also very important. One such experience is shared by a boy. They manipulate the medical community into making this diagnosis solely to justify their self-hatred. Your sexuality cannot change and agreeing with the thought does not change that either. If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might be in denial. It's like oh look a guy is he attracted am I attracted to him. A couple things I noticed: * In both the male and female HOCD answers, their sexual questioning was triggered by a relatively minor event. (3) possible short-term relief due to the compulsions, but it doesn't last and over time gets worse. The condition is characterized by having aggressive, intrusive thoughts of doing violence to someone, as well as the responses the person uses to cope with these thoughts. I want comments that encourage me to fight this and never give up. They arent afraid to be gay. Denial is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long. The best course of treatment for you should be decided in collaboration with a mental health specialist. The difference between HOCD and denial. Copyright 2023 Insight Psychological Inc. All Rights Reserved. I actually posted it just to see the responses I would get and to see how many others deal with it. Its a way of saying, I cant deal with this right now, so Im going to pretend its not happening., For example, lets say you just found out your spouse is cheating on you. How do I handle this? For a quick web story summary, click here. If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger dont use this site. and our Sometimes, medications are used to treat conditions like OCD and PTSD. (2) attempts to resolve the fear through some sort of compulsion (research, checking, testing yourself etc.) How do I determine that? Dr. Valentine utilizes behavioral-based therapies including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) with children, adolescents, and adults experiencing anxiety-related disorders. It is not recognized in the DSM, nor by any reputable association of psychotherapists, psychiatrists, social workers, or counselors. Do the same with girls. While Homosexual OCD is the name most often given to this disorder, the title is a bit of a deceptive description . We need to assess on our own whats what. AmI pretending its not happening? Tip #32 The answer is not in your brain but in your ACTIONS. Log In Sign Up. This turns into unwanted thoughts and fears that youre losing your sexual identity or in denial of your attractions, as well as relationship issues and difficulty performing sexually. To start off I'm a 19 year old heterosexual male. People can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research. Interruptive thoughts exacerbate the anxiety. Sometimes because a woman doesnt seem to turn on by women and men dont seem to turn on by men. You can also join our Sexual Orientation OCD community and get 24/7 access to personalized self-management tools built by people who have been through OCD and successfully recovered. So please, for your own good, don't do like I did. Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: Legion. 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